Living In Faith August 27
“Change from self-destructive patterns of life became necessary” From NA Big Book p15
“Peace, The Possession of Adequate Resources” – George Morrison Devotionals
John 14:27 “Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
I use both the NA Just For Today book and Morrisons Daily Devotionals because of how well they coincide with each other so often. Yes I have to change from my self-destructive patterns and in return gain peace. Morrison points out in the devotional that peace is the possession of adequate resources. That is so true. Think about it, if you have food on the table, the rent is paid, there is gas in the car and you still have some change….you are generally happy because you have adequate resources. The trick though for me is having and maintaining that peace without self-destructing patterns.
One thing about getting life on track for me is getting back in touch with my spirituality. Not religion, just my personal relationship with my Higher Power, my God. My natural instinct when I need something in the past has always been to lie, cheat, steal and claw my way until I possessed that need. Hell it could be cigarettes, beer, spending money, whatever. Now though, I pray for things and my “needs” to be met. Instead of going to be worrying about tomorrow’s bills or if I can scratch enough money to was clothes, I can now go to sleep knowing that my God will provide for me what is necessary. Let’s face it…our “needs” are more often “wants”. Sometimes those “wants” can become a burden such as a new credit card payment or new car payment. I won’t lie to you though, it is tough keeping these things in remembrance as we go through our daily lives.
One way I changed my self-destructive patterns is by calling my ex-wife and having a conversation. The old me would have not done that, and sooner or later things would get ugly and messy. We had a nice 30 minute talk that really resulted in good conversation. I know she probably won’t take me back, and I don’t blame her. But the fact that we can be close friends is a treasure without a price. It is a peace that enables me to have the adequate resource of at least ONE, TRUE friend. That right there is worth more than all the gold in the world. My car has a bald tire, the tranny is going….but I have one, true friend in this world that I can talk to and share deep personal things.
There is still a lot of work to be done to change all of my self-destructive patterns. It’s been a defense mechanism for such a long time. Just this one change though has made me more stable and built up more confidence in myself as a human being.
Think about some of your own self-destructive or self-defeating patterns. Don’t try to think of all of them or your head will explode like mine. LOL. Just pick one and do something different when the occasion arises. Instead of grabbing a beer and sitting on the couch as soon as you get home, take a moment to say hello to your spouse or give them a kiss. Above all take a few minutes each morning just to thank your Higher Power for giving you this unique life to live today.