“Eventually we are shown we must get honest, or we will use again.” NA Basic Text p85
“But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.” NASB Luke 8:15
We know that in order to keep clean we must apply spiritual principals with a Higher Power of our own understanding. This means that we must surrender all facets of our lives to our Higher Power without holding back anything. Unfortunately, we all have done things that we aren’t proud of while we were using. There may also be some things, as in my life, which we wouldn’t want anybody to know which had nothing to do with our using. These things too, we must surrender or else they are small secrets that will eventually lead us to using again.
In my life, I’ve done things or acted in ways that I wouldn’t want anybody to know about. I’ve also had secrets before I even used that I am ashamed of in my life. The things that were done before I began using, I felt wasn’t really necessary to bring up when working the program. In my mind, there was no need to apply Steps 4 through 10 to the past of my pre-using life. In a moment of meditation I was shown how wrong I was to hold those things back.
Suppose one of those pre-using secrets reared itself during my recovery. The shame and guilt would be overwhelming, and I would most likely relapse into using or drinking because of the discovery. My whole life was screwed up due to drinking and using to forget the past and deal with the present. Holding these pre-using secrets, I was playing Russian Roulette with my recovery. These secrets had to be identified and worked through according to our recovery program. We must be honest with all facets of our lives in order to stay clean.
Honesty is an important factor in our recovery and in our relationship with a Higher Power of our own understanding. God revealed the power of having an honest heart. Jesus used the parable of the sower and the seed to teach us the importance of accepting truths and applying them sincerely. The only way for this to happen is to have an honest and open heart. Our patience through perseverance as recovering addicts, is in working out all of our secrets. It is only by surrendering our entire lives that we become completely honest with ourselves and stay on the road to recovery.